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Thinking About the Past…I expect most folks in reaching the age status of “elderly” (like me) think much more about their pasts than younger folks do. I think about the many precious memories with which God has blessed my life most abundantly. I think about the title of the popular TV drama, “Breaking Bad” (I only watched one episode – it didn’t strike me as spiritually beneficial), and rejoice that almost the entirety of my life has been characterized by “breaking good.” The fact that God has blessed both Theresa and me with long life (83rd and 84th birthdays upcoming in late October) and a long, wonderful marriage (61 years and counting) is far more than we could have imagined in our youth. Other than my near-death experience with cancer complications four years ago, we have enjoyed mostly good health. Those realities produce in me some mixed emotions. As our dear friends, Jim and Maureen McCartney, celebrated their very happy 43rd wedding anniversary, they also thought about their friends who had already lost their mates in death. Jim described his emotions as “Feeling the tension of gratitude and grief." I totally understand what Jim stated so well. Why have I been blessed so much as an individual and us as a couple when so many others have suffered pain that we have not? No answer, just that feeling of gratitude and grief. Life is a mystery in so many ways. Another part of looking back at my past falls into that grief category. The mistakes I made that affected only me I am okay with. My bad; consequences deserved. However, the mistakes I made that affected others are the ones that hurt most – by far. In thinking of those, I often feel and sometimes say aloud, “Too soon old and too late smart.” But I know that recounting regrets is not helpful to me or to others. It’s just hard to avoid. Last week my wife texted me something that helped, giving me a better way to process my past mistakes. Maybe it will help you too. “Forgive yourself for not knowing what only time could teach.” - Maya Angelou ... See MoreSee Less

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Yesterday, a good friend whom I have not seen in many years texted me, and among other things, she asked how I was feeling about the family of churches she and I share in common. Although I have many wonderful friends whom I believe to be wonderful disciples of Jesus, I also believe that many of our churches, like most churches, have far too many members who are quite comfortable with belonging to a nice little church on the corner. As I thought about my friend’s question, an old illustration came to mind that I haven’t thought of in years. Upon looking it up, the properties tab indicated that I had entered it into my computer in January of 1997, almost 30 years ago. Here it is. I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please, not enough to explode my soul or disturb my sleep, but just enough to equal a cup of warm milk or a snooze in the sunshine. I don’t want enough of Him to make me love a black man or pick beets with a migrant. I want ecstasy, not transformation; I want the warmth of the womb, not a new birth. I want a pound of the Eternal in a paper bag. I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please. ... See MoreSee Less
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I taught a class this morning via Zoom to students in the Asia Pacific Leadership Academy, a program I had the privilege of helping start nearly twenty years ago. Rolan Monje is now the very capable leader of the APLA program. He is an outstanding teacher and author, and a very special friend. The class began at 8pm Manila time, which meant I started teaching at 7am my time in Texas. Rolan said that 105 were engaged on Zoom for the teaching and over 1700 on Facebook live. Thankful. Every time I teach now, in person or on the internet, I start off with a question in my mind about whether my age (83) is catching up with me. It is physically for sure, with balance issues and weakness in my legs. I can stand and teach one regular length class for an hour, but anything longer than that would require a stool to sit on. When we started APLA almost two decades ago, I could stand and teach all day for many days in a row. Time marches on, with consequences. I worry most about how I am doing mentally, whether I have memory issues. I do have more trouble remembering names and terms at times, but thankfully nothing has evidently affected my teaching. Rolan summed up my teaching today with this comment: “all vintage Gordon.” Encouraging. My prayer list contains a growing number of friends who have some type of dementia. We older folks worry about that malady, trust me. Regarding my physical health, my recent annual cancer scan, four years after my cancer went into remission, was clear. So thankful. My prayer list includes over thirty who are presently fighting cancer. As I pray for many people with many maladies, I often wonder why I’ve lived this long and this well. I know all of the pat answers to that question, but only one answer is certain – OGK (only God knows). I just felt like rambling a bit today after having such a wonderful beginning to my day, spent in the cyberspace presence of my old and precious friends in Asia. God has been good to me. So thankful. ... See MoreSee Less
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