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Eternity’s Brink–Episode 14–Our Dual Existence

Aside from those who supposedly have multiple personalities, all of us are two people in one. My favorite passage in the Bible, 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 makes our dual nature clear and also what our focus should be in light of that nature. Look at verse 16: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” Although the terminology of “wasting away” isn’t exactly pleasant to contemplate, over time its truth becomes more and more obvious. That said, the next part about daily inward renewal should motivate us to make sure we are doing just that. Spending quiet times with God isn’t just a nice idea; it should be seen as an absolute necessity.

We have an outward part and an inward part, the latter being made in the image of God. I recently told someone that I still felt like I was 35, although my body reminded me that I am 80. Why do we feel like that as we age, still young in spite of our aches and pains and wrinkles? Our inner person, our soul or spirit, doesn’t age. It doesn’t even sleep nor need sleep—that’s why you dream all night. The real you, the inner person, doesn’t need sleep and has been created for eternity. Death, biblically defined, is simply the departure of the spirit from the physical house it lived in, the body.

James recognizes this distinction in James 2:26. “As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.” Paul put it this way in 2 Corinthians 5:1-4: “For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. 2 Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, 3 because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. 4 For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.” Peter continues with the tent analogy in 2 Peter 1:13-14 thusly: I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body, 14 because I know that I will soon put it aside, as our Lord Jesus Christ has made clear to me.” Tents are temporary dwelling places and thus an apt analogy to describe life in a physical body.

During the early part of my hospital stay, as mentioned, I was both hallucinatory and delusional at times. However, when people started talking to me, I somehow escaped that condition and reentered reality. And trust me, many people talked to me. Since I was in a teaching hospital, medical students came in frequently to interview me. Given my condition, I was shocked that that would even be allowed. But I gave it my best effort and answered their questions and added some advice. I was also shocked that I was able to engage in a coherent way and make sense in those conversations and many others with medical personnel.

The fact that I was able to do that, repeatedly, attests to the truth that we are in fact dual beings. My inner person was able to engage when my outer person was extremely sick. Quite an interesting experience, and a surprising one to me, but it shouldn’t have been. I am two people in one, and the part of me made in the image of my Father isn’t nearly as dependent on the other part as might be assumed. That was a cool discovery. While one part of me was deathly ill, the other part was capable of rising above that illness and carrying on as normal. Interesting—and impressive! We are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made, as Psalm 139:14 says.

The biggest takeaway from this insight should be to help us make sure our main focus in life is clearly on the spiritual side of it. Spiritual trainwrecks are likely results when this is not the case. Usually, the older we become, the greater the challenges. I have seen too many older people lose their way spiritually by not being able to handle those challenges, but it doesn’t have to happen like that. Continuing to grow spiritually by nourishing our inner person is the antidote. Don’t let your focus shift to the temporary; keep it on the eternal. Paul said it best in 2 Corinthians 4:18 in these words: “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Eternity’s Brink–Episode 13–A Sobering Reality

A Night to Remember!

As I shared one part of my hospital story with my friend Otoma Edje via email, he made this comment: “What you share about ‘getting your house in order’ is very sobering.” Early in my hospital stay, as I’ve said, I was in bad enough shape that the possibility of dying was almost constantly on my mind. For that reason, I asked that my son, his wife and three sons come to the hospital together with my wife on one of the first nights I was there. My oldest grandson was about to turn 24 and my youngest about to be 17. They were old enough to be a part of the serious discussion I had in mind. Discussing death is to some morbid, but to me it is simply reality, howbeit a sobering one. I shared my concerns that I might die and shared my concerns that I hadn’t done all I had intended to fully set my house in order. I began sharing what those latter concerns were.

I had two file cabinets full of old documents, most of which were irrelevant and unneeded. I explained which of them would be relevant if I died and asked them to have the rest shredded. I also explained that I had a closet and desk drawers full of electronic items that would need to be disposed of as well and how to best do that. I then moved on to how to help Theresa with the immediate finances, although the long-range issues were in a document that I’ve kept updated for years on my computer. Periodically, I have given Theresa paper copies to keep in a safe place, since she isn’t much of a computer person.

In trying to describe the short-range issues, I asked Bryce, my oldest grandson, who happens to be a business graduate with a financial job, to get a pen and paper and start making notes. As I tried to recall needed usernames and passwords, I tried to verify their accuracy on my phone. Being in somewhat of a hallucinatory state, the phone screen looked weird, as if someone had put a totally different operating system on it. I could not figure out how to make passwords work on it. That was a frustrating experience. But I went on to share as many details as I could think of in my altered mental state about what to do in the event of my death.

Some of my family members were crying as they seriously contemplated my possible imminent death, and some were concentrating on what I was trying to explain. Knowing it was a strange night, I told them that I had been trying to teach them how to live well but also wanted to teach them how to die well. Dealing with the realities involved is, and was then, sobering. It was a night none of us will ever forget, but at the end of it, I felt good about it.

Since I didn’t die, my house is in much better order. Six boxes of file folders and other materials have been shredded. My old buddy from Boston, Rich Evans, flew in for several days to help me with the electronic collection of now useless (to me) items. He dealt with five old computers, three electronic tablets and two phones. Hitting the delete button doesn’t fully delete files, but Rich knew how to erase it all. With some of the equipment left, he thought of ways they could be used by others; some obsolete items we simply threw away; and the remainder we dropped off at a recycling center.

I updated my “In the event of my death…” document with all sorts of instructions in it, including those for my memorial service, and gave Theresa a printed copy. Of course, I have an updated will in a safety deposit box. (I hope you do too.) I feel relieved to have all of that accomplished, for when I do “croak,” as my deceased buddy Jerry Jones used to call it, my family members will find it much easier to deal with the details. I spoke with a widow friend shortly after her husband died, and she just shook her head and said that he had been a “clutterbug.” I don’t want to be remembered with any such term!

Many people have asked me how Theresa handled all of this, knowing that her husband might well die. Two words come to mind: maturity and spirituality. Theresa took it a day at a time and never came close to freaking out. That’s just not her. Mentioning Jerry Jones brought back a special memory. One day years ago, I was in his truck with him and his wife, Karen, as we traveled to and from an orphanage in Mexico that our church members visited regularly to serve the kids and workers. During our long drive from Phoenix to the edge of Mexico, we talked about many things. At one point, Jerry said to me, “Now you and Theresa do talk about how to handle things when one of you croaks, don’t you?”

All people as they age should do this, should get our house in order. When I recounted the story to Theresa upon arriving home, she just cackled at the word “croak.” From then until Jerry died a couple of years back, Theresa searched to find birthday cards to send him each year that typically had a frog on the front, and then inside said something along the lines of “Thank God you haven’t croaked yet!” Well, Jerry finally croaked and he did it with class. I was able to have a very meaningful conversation with him on the phone the day before he died, and I can assure you, he was quite ready to croak. His house was in order.

Eternity’s Brink–Episode 12–Surrender’s Spectrum

On the Spectrum of Surrender (Surrender’s Spectrum)

The second book I wrote was “The Victory of Surrender.” Although written long ago, it has remained the “crowd favorite.” As I have continued to wrestle with my view of God and the nature of my relationship with him, an important truth has dawned on me. Surrender falls on a spectrum with at least three positions. We often speak of people being on “the spectrum,” meaning the spectrum of autism. There is a wide range encompassing the condition we call autism. Similarly, there is a range on the spectrum of spiritual surrender. All surrender is beneficial, but not all surrender is equal. My recent insights have shown me that my own past conception of surrender was not at the pinnacle of the spectrum. Where we are on that spectrum is tied inseparably to our conception of the nature of our God.

At the low end of the spectrum is what I would describe as resignation, simply resigning ourselves to any given situation that we find challenging. Even non-Christians adopt this approach to challenges when they can find no other. But for them, God is not in the equation. As Christians, we accept such resignation as ultimately being from the hand of God, whether we feel good about it or not, whether we are really trusting Romans 8:28 or not. Even if God is working all things together for good, what we are experiencing doesn’t seem good and trusting it will turn out for our good can be an elusive goal indeed.

I remember hearing a sermon over a half century ago that used the term “resign” in three ways in speaking about finding ourselves in challenging situations. The preacher said that we could resign or quit, just give up—application number one. Or we could just resign ourselves to the objectionable situation, grin and bear it or grit our teeth and bear it—application number two. Or we could re-sign, sign back up for another go at handling the problems facing us with grace, God’s grace—application number three.

Resigning ourselves to what we see as a negative situation may have some spiritual convictions behind it, but the level of trust is not impressive. Thomas the apostle seemed to operate with this level of surrender, as these passages indicate.

John 11:16 
16 Then Thomas (also known as Didymus) said to the rest of the disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.”

John 20:24-29 
       24 Now Thomas (also known as Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. 25 So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” 26 A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” 27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” 28 Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” 29 Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

Thomas is called “Doubting Thomas” for good reason. He always followed Jesus in spite of his doubts, but his trust was clearly at a low level. Thus his surrender was not the kind to inspire others. Like all the apostles, I believe the reality of a resurrected Lord ultimately changed him and he became an inspiration. None of the apostles were stellar examples of believers in the resurrection until after they had actually seen Jesus. But in spite of their difficulties in believing that Jesus was going to die and be resurrected throughout Jesus’ ministry, they still had the commitment to follow him no matter what. Resignation, even accompanied with doubts, is on the spectrum, if we simply keep following.

The second level on the surrender spectrum is when our main focus on Jesus is that he is the Lord, the Master, and we are his servants. Such is a biblical analogy to be sure. Consider Luke 17:10: “So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.’” As with all passages, context is hugely important. Jesus had just given them a shocking lesson about forgiveness. It should be unlimited, said he. In their shock, they exclaimed, “Increase our faith!” After telling them that even a small amount of faith, the size of a mustard seed, could accomplish great things, he focused on the need for them to simply keep obeying as servants.

They had a long way to go yet in developing faith, and obedience was the path to follow in developing it. They would reach that third level of surrender, as we will see, but they were not there yet. We sing the old hymn admonishing us to “trust and obey,” but sometimes we have to obey in order to develop trust. Mark 1:15 suggests this principle in these words of John the Baptist: “Repent and believe the good news!” John 8:31-32 is similar, in that Jesus said that really grasping truth and being freed by it follows obedience (“holding to his teaching”). In this passage, initial belief has to move on to obedience if we are to be made free of Satan’s hold on us through surrender.

I think this level of surrender was what motivated me to write my book on the subject. Surrender has always been one of my biggest challenges. I think that is true for most of us, but not all of us. I have known a few who lived in level three. No matter what happened to them, they simply trusted that God was in control and the principle of Romans 8:28 was inevitably going to be proved true. Wilner Cornerly was one such disciple. When I went to Phoenix in 2003, the financial challenges in a time of upheaval were such that the role for which he was hired simply wasn’t feasible financially. Joe Silipo and I took Wilner out to lunch, and with as much sensitivity as possible, fired him. Joe and I were both crying as we did it. Wilner was calm and simply unflappable, full of trust in God and the plans God had for his life.

He ended up going to Chicago to be a part of the ministry staff there, and those who hired him later thanked us for firing him! He later developed terminal cancer. I was speaking in Chicago and present for one of the last staff meetings he ever attended. With two of us by his side helping to hold him up, he led the closing prayer. His attitude about having cancer and facing death were the same as when we had the termination talk. God is God and all is well. What a hero of the faith! What an inspiration! What an example of surrender at the very top of the spectrum!

I think my book described both levels two and three. We often start off at level two and end up at level three. Truthfully, I often write much better than I think, feel and live. That could be seen as hypocrisy, but in this case, I don’t think it is. As one old preacher of yesteryear wrote, “I don’t have any respect for any preacher who doesn’t preach better than he lives, but neither do I have any respect for any preacher who isn’t trying his best to live as well as he preaches.” I like that. I like to think that’s me. I believe it is. I am not nearly all that I want to be for God, but I want it badly and I’m striving for it and will until I draw my last breath. I believe I have fought to get to level two of surrender many, many times in my life when challenges came fast and furious. When I gave it my best to simply trust and obey, or obey and trust, I yielded to Jesus as my Lord and Master and ultimately found peace. That peace at the end of the process was either level three or very close to it. However, level three is, as I said earlier, inseparably tied to our view of God and his nature.

So what is level three on the surrender spectrum? It is what Jesus was leading his twelve disciples to, as described in John 15:15. “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” The apostles started at level one, progressed to level two and finally reached level three. Seeing yourself as a friend of God will motivate in ways that seeing yourself merely as servant to the ultimate Master will never accomplish.

I think of my earthly father in this connection. When he was younger and quite a force of nature, I was afraid of him. I did what he said out of fear when I was young. When he was old and becoming feeble, my motivation wasn’t fear at all, but desire to do anything to serve him and nothing to disappoint him. Love and quality of relationship had replaced fear. I think of level three surrender as a combination of warm love and total trust of a loving Abba. And I picture it in the words of Psalm 131:1-2. “My heart is not proud, LORD, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. 2 But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.”

I think that is where I am with God now. Like I was with my earthly father when he was old, I am not afraid of God. I just don’t want to disappoint him in any way. He has been so amazingly kind to me. His kindness has led me to repentance time and time again, as he intended (Romans 2:4). His kindness toward me is almost impossible to conceive. From birth until now as I approach my 80th birthday in a couple of weeks, he has blessed me beyond measure, almost beyond comprehension. As the old song puts it, I stand amazed in his presence. I stand amazed at all that he has done in my life, the ways that he has orchestrated it, inserting just the right people into it and the right situations into it—at just the right times.

I am a blessed man who has lived a blessed life, from birth to death, whenever and however death may come. I cannot imagine how or why he has blessed me so. I sometimes attribute it to having married my little angel, Theresa, and reasoned that since God is determined to bless her, I was able to come along for the ride by being one with her in marriage. That does make some sense, doesn’t it? But then I look at my early years, my BT (before Theresa) years, and even though spirituality was neither a fact nor an interest, he blessed me anyway—repeatedly. Unbelievable! What a God I have—a Father, an Abba, a Friend!

Only when these three terms seem real to us in our relationship to God will surrender level three become a reality. I am not there all the time, but I want to be. I was there during my 23-day hospital stay, sitting with God on the brink of eternity. When I left the hospital, I was in a euphoric state. It wasn’t because I was finally being discharged from a very challenging period, although I was thankful to be going home—alive. It was because something happened in those long nights as I sat with God, my Friend, and contemplated eternity. As I stated at the beginning of this series, I don’t know just how to describe it. When I was in what could have been mistaken for a manic state, as Tom Jones thought, it no doubt seemed like it. Tom wasn’t far off in his observations about that part. It was an unbelievable experience. Euphoric for sure.

I wish I could say that it lasted until this present moment, but it didn’t. Like many emotional highs, we do come back down to reality. Anyone who has attended an inspirational conference knows what I am talking about. Even Jesus coming down from the experience of the Mount of Transfiguration knows what I am talking about. But in spite of the descent back into the real world, the hospital stay was one of my life’s greatest adventures. I was born wired for adventures. I love them. I need them. God has provided them all of my life. Even some of the greatest challenges I have faced have proved to be great adventures as I look back on them.

My tendency to imagine worst case scenarios hasn’t stopped God from giving me best case scenarios. I stand amazed in his presence. I stand blessed in his presence. I stand grateful, exceedingly grateful, in his presence. He is the Servant of all servants, and he has served me for a lifetime. O God, my Abba, my Friend, help me to imitate you in becoming a servant, growing more and more into your likeness as I represent you as your image bearer, striving to demonstrate you as the greatest Servant of all times and all worlds!

 

Eternity’s Brink–Episode 11–Influence Multiplied

The Fruits of Servanthood 4 (Influence Multiplied)

Through the years, I have had many leaders in many situations. I only remember details about two types and two types only: those who were harsh and those who were servants. Both types have led me to pray a lot. The former caused me to pray for patience and forgiveness and for them to repent and change or be taken out of leadership roles. The latter caused me to offer many prayers of thanksgiving. Many prayers—long after I was under their leadership, even after their deaths in some cases (think Wyndham Shaw). Between the harsh ones and the servant ones were the majority whose leadership I experienced, but I don’t remember too much about them. I suspect that they were focused on themselves enough to keep me from being so. You will be remembered by those whom you hurt or serve, but by few others. When you reach old age, if you are fortunate enough to live that long, you will think about your legacy, what you are leaving behind of yourself in the hearts and lives of others. Do something about it now by imitating God in being a servant.

In speaking about basic human needs, or love languages, acts of service are always included. It is my primary love language. I thank God for those who have served me and are serving me now. At the top of my prayer list, a long list, is my request for God to bless those who have been praying for me to be cured of cancer and who prayed for God to spare my life while I was in the hospital sitting with God on the brink of eternity. I can’t stop from shedding tears when I think about those in this category. Why? Because they are servants—they served me.

I imagine that some, perhaps many, who knew of my serious illness were never moved to pray at all. But I know for a fact that large numbers of my friends prayed earnestly and frequently for my healing, and still are. I wrote this near the beginning of September 2022, and then the jury was still out on whether my cancer was cured or not. Due to the severe reaction to the chemotherapy medication, I only took a partial amount of it. After getting out of the hospital, the radiation treatments resumed. I trusted that God had heard enough prayers from his servants, who are also my servants, to let that suffice for a cure.

After the radiation treatments were finished, I had to wait three months for further testing since the radiation continues to work for three months after treatments end. On September 19 (oddly, my father’s death date), I went back to the surgeon who found the cancer and this time after I awoke from the anesthesia said that she took no tissue samples because there was nothing there to take. Exactly two weeks later, the radiation oncologist said in our virtual appointment that the MRI scan taken a week earlier was perfectly clear, so she would see me a year from then for another scan. The surgeon will do a check every three months, at least for the first year. To be honest, it didn’t sink in quickly. The early diagnosis which turned out to be a false/negative made it harder to believe. What was quickly and easily believed is that the huge number of prayers for my healing by my spiritual family all over the world made all the difference. I will never be able to thank them enough. There are no words…

We all have the basic human needs of being accepted; thus we fear rejection. We want to be approved, to be included, to be considered important, hopefully even essential to those with whom we associate. Do you not think that servanthood will gain these rewards, and far more? We don’t serve to be served in return or give in order to be given to, for serving is its own reward. It is more blessed to give than to receive. Considering others more important than ourselves brings benefits far beyond what we might expect. Jesus changed the world by being the world’s greatest servant. You can change your world by being the best servant you can be, with God through the Holy Spirit enabling you to keep growing in this capacity.

Selfishness is natural; selflessness is unnatural. Yet, as with most things, what comes natural is of the world and what takes genuine effort and self-denial is of God. Trust him that his way, the Via Dolorosa, is the path to glory. It will change you, and better, it will change others. Influence is about helping others rather than impressing others, which makes true leadership servanthood, from beginning to end. Trust Jesus enough to trust that fundamental truth.

The greatest influence you can possibly have on another’s life is helping them become disciples of Jesus. If first becoming a Christian, coming into a saved relationship with God through Christ, is our first priority, guess what? We should feel compelled to see that as a starting place in being a servant to others, helping them find that same saved relationship. Although I didn’t attend the recent Summit Conference in Orlando, I did watch a lot of it virtually. The very first thing I watched addressed the topic of raising up the next generation.

All three presenters came at the subject in somewhat different, but complementary ways. Kevin Miller spoke about campus ministry and what they were doing in Boston. He didn’t speak about what they ought to be doing; he spoke about what they were doing and had been doing recently. He had two impressive younger generation disciples speak as a part of his presentation. It was all so convicting. It reminded me of why I was attracted to this family of churches in the first place. I saw in action the majority of the membership having a determination to imitate the mission of Jesus, “to seek and save the lost” (Luke 19:10). As we seek to influence and serve others in every way possible in imitation of Jesus, let’s not forget what our first priority with others should always be – helping them know Jesus.

Eternity’s Brink — Episode 10 — Awareness Awakened

The Fruits of Servanthood 3 (Awareness Awakened)

Servanthood brings an increased awareness of many types. The awareness of the situations others face and their subsequent needs is one. The awareness of our own nature, complete with its weaknesses and sins is another. It has been pointed out that awareness in Western culture is highly individualistic whereas in Eastern culture, it is more of a group awareness. Western culture has spawned the “me” generation concept. When it is all about me, selfishness in its many forms chokes out servanthood. Even our choice of “causes” to get involved in often carries a self-focus with it, for our choices may be based mainly on what makes us feel good about ourselves. Thus, involvement in causes doesn’t necessarily equate with being servants. This is why being self-aware spiritually is absolutely essential.

True servants are increasingly aware of their own shortcomings and sins. While in the hospital, becoming more and more aware of God’s supreme nature being that of servanthood, I was also becoming more and more aware of my lack of a servant spirit. During one of my sleepless nights, I had a thought jump into my mind seemingly out of nowhere. It involved me and my wife and my electronic preferences, of phones in particular. The story has a necessary back-story to fully appreciate what I am about to describe.

I officially decided to become computerized in 1992. I was writing quite a lot even back then without a computer. I had an assistant whose tasks included typing out my hand-written material. He kept telling me that writing on a computer was fundamentally important, not just in terms of saving both of us time, but in terms of what he described as something like thinking through your fingers. He finally convinced me to give up my computer phobia and buy a computer.

At that time, I knew just enough about computers to know that there were two basic types: Macintosh and Windows. I had no idea what the differences were, and which might be best for me, so I started asking advice of my computer using friends. One thing became obvious quickly. The Apple folks were not only sold on their products but sold to the point of sounding arrogant and even cultish. Purely because of that response, I decided to go with a Windows based computer. I reasoned that I had enough pride already and didn’t need to join the Apple cult to worsen it. Seriously, that was the true back-story behind my initial choice.

The problem I didn’t see coming or see once it came was that in my resistance to all things Apple, I had developed the same problem in reverse. I became a Windows snob, often deriding Apple products. Then came smartphones, with Apple being the leading innovator in this new field. I became very thankful very quickly when Android phones made their appearance. I didn’t have to use an iPhone! Yea! I had a choice and I made it. Since that first Android phone, I have owned many, and I was always quick to tell my iPhone friends that Android was the superior system.

Now we come to the real issue that God brought to my attention while in a hospital bed contemplating death and him and all points in-between. My wife is not technology oriented and initially showed no interest in smartphones, Apple or Android. Phones were used to make phone calls. End of story—until the grandchildren had smartphones and wanted to exchange texts with their grandmother. Knowing that the grandchildren had iPhones and that they were supposedly more user friendly, I bought my wife one of those dreaded iPhones. That initial purchase was nearly a decade ago.

Since that time, I have been impatient and unhelpful with Theresa in the use of her phone. I didn’t want to figure out anything about it, meaning that I wasn’t willing to serve her by learning how it functioned. Adding insult to injury, I often spoke disparagingly of her phone when she was having some problem with it. I. Was. Not. A. Servant! Not only did I fail to serve, but I was impatient and critical when she needed help with her phone. And this attitude and treatment was aimed at the most wonderful wife in the world, the one whom I love and cherish! What a servant husband would have done is switch to an iPhone when his wife first got one in order to help her with the unavoidable learning curve involved.

This whole story flooded my mind and heart in a flash, all at once, on that fateful night in the hospital. The next day, I shared the story not only with Theresa, but with my son’s whole family. They knew my attitudes and had heard my complaints and sarcasm directed at iPhones, and they all needed to hear me repent. Then they needed to see my repentance in action. I asked Joy to order two new iPhones, the latest and greatest of them, which she did. Now my wife and I both have iPhone 13 Pro Max phones. I can and do help her with her phone. I should have done this long ago—and would have if I had been imitating the God whom I love. He didn’t just change something owned to serve us; he changed himself into a human being and died for us—unimaginable servanthood!

I remember an old song, very popular in its day, “You Always Hurt the One You Love.” The first few phrases are heart-breaking, but true. Why do we hurt the ones we love? They are about the only ones who love us enough to put up with it. Sad thought, that. I wish that my little phone story was the only such memory I have about ways I have hurt my wife, failing to be the servant that God has called me to be. I imagine that this one story is enough to get the wheels of your memory turning, and hopefully enough to help you repent also. In my case, Theresa had a hard time believing that I was serious about really repenting. It took her seeing my tears of repentance to grasp how deeply grieved I was over my sins of selfishness and pride.

My hospital insights about the nature of God led to my insights about the nature of Gordon—and to repentance. I’m just so grateful to God for revealing both types of insights to me during my time of sitting on the brink of eternity with him. I needed to be there, and his servant heart was moved to take me there. Spiritual insights are found in the package of God’s nature that we humans can never fully open, but try we must, and try with fervor, determination and consistency. Let’s do it!

Curiosity being what it is, some of you are wondering how I am faring with my new iPhone. I still prefer Android for some technical reasons, but the iPhone is fine. A bit too heavy, but fine. Just so you know, I also bought an Apple computer years ago and used it daily and exclusively for six months. It was a good computer, but not as suited to my particular uses as is a PC. But no more disparaging talking about brands of computers or phones. They are all good and simply matters of preference, just like brands of a myriad of other products. My iPhone and I are doing well in developing our relationship, as my wife and I continue to do in deepening ours (after 58 years of marriage). Repentance is sweet and an integral part of servanthood for us humans!

Eternity’s Brink — Episode 9 — A Righteous Life

The Fruits of Servanthood 2 — A Righteous Life

The effects of sin in our lives are always bad and often disastrous. I didn’t believe that when I was young. I was taught it but I hadn’t seen enough evidence yet to buy in to it. I had friends and relatives who were doing things that I knew were supposed to be wrong, but it seemed that they were getting by with it. I couldn’t yet see the consequences. That phase didn’t last too long. Those my age started getting married without God’s principles as a guide. Their lives started unraveling in time, and when their children reached adulthood, the picture came into sharper focus. Underneath the smiles and Facebook stories, the rigid rod of reality told the true tale. The last line of Fantine’s song, “I Dreamed a Dream,” in the famous musical, “Les Miserables,” tells the tale of many whose lives are not centered on God. “Life has killed the dream I dreamed.” That is the present condition of many in our society, leading to frustration and anger which can stay pent-up for only so long. It is being acted upon in many, many horrific ways as I write these words. And without Christ in lives, it will get worse.

Our nation provides a good example of how it gets worse. I remember a conversation with an older friend in Boston years ago who had grown up there. He recalled being in elementary school when the attack on Pearl Harbor occurred. He said that once they got the news, their teacher led the whole class in Bible reading and prayer for the rest of the school day. I remember reading a historical novel about the early settlement of the East Coast of the US, and in very challenging times, it wasn’t unusual for the mayor of Boston to call for a fast of even several days to cry out to God for help meeting those challenges. Now we have drifted so far away from the Bible as an accepted standard that we shouldn’t be surprised at the consequences of unrighteousness permeating our society. The kingdom of self and self-serving has taken the place of biblical servanthood demonstrated and called for by Jesus.

If sin is the disease, servanthood is the cure. Those focused on serving are already immersed in self-denial. Sin is not nearly the temptation that it is to people who are mainly focused on self or even on merely avoiding sin, and therein lies the failure of the religion of my youth. It was all about avoiding sin, not serving others in the name of Christ. Most who call themselves Christians live about the same as their neighbors, except they avoid outward sins. They are just about as self-centered and materialistic as everyone else. Self-denial is thus defined very narrowly indeed. It is about what not to do rather than being focused on what Jesus did and still would do—and wants to do in and through you. Do you see the difference?

Every follower of Jesus has the responsibility of serving. It is not a burden but a blessing, an opportunity, a privilege. Some followers of his also have the special gift of serving (Romans 12:7). Those with the gift serve more gracefully and naturally than the rest of us, and in doing so they provide an example to help the rest of us grow in that area. My wife, Theresa, has this gift in abundance. She lives to serve. She can’t help serving. She is compelled. It doesn’t matter who we are with or where we are, her gift will come out. It is pretty amazing to watch and sometimes a bit embarrassing for me to watch. She will take over situations involving total strangers as she tries to serve them. In a restaurant during pre-Covid days, she would be arranging chairs and tables and holding babies and doing whatever she thought would help them have the best time. They seemed to sense her gift and were quite relaxed about it all, appearing to view her as a part of their family on a temporary basis. As I said, it’s amazing to watch.

Recently, as we began recording the first episodes of this podcast series, I talked to Theresa about how I wanted things to function. I explained that this wasn’t us entertaining fellow disciples or focusing on hospitality. It was business and we had to stay both quiet and focused. So, let’s just put bottled water in the refrigerator and inform them to serve themselves as needed. She listened very attentively and seemed like she understood exactly what I was saying and why, and was agreeing to follow the guidelines I mentioned. But as Rick and I were setting up all of the equipment prior to the arrival of the guests who were to be in the podcast, I glanced over at our dining room table. Of course there were bottles of water there, along with pumpkin bread, pumpkin chocolate chip cookies and a huge bowl of fruit salad and the sauce to top it with. In earlier years, that might have led to an argument, but I didn’t say anything negative to her. She can’t help it. She has the gift of service. Servanthood should have been her middle name!

Theresa is, not surprisingly, one of the most spiritual people I know. When we are focused on serving others, we are not focused on self and thus sin’s temptations have much less effect on us. Sometimes when we are praying together and confess our sins, I find myself wishing that all I had to confess was what she did. I have “big boy” sins; she has “little girl” sins—all because she is a far better servant than I am. As I was thinking about this servanthood concept recently, it occurred to me that I should ask her a question that I’m not sure I have asked her directly before.

I understand the challenges of male lust, which I have shared about honestly in describing my own battles, something that any honest man will admit is a problem. But I wondered what the challenge of that sin might look like for her. The results of a fairly in-depth discussion were about as expected. She just doesn’t struggle with it, and I believe her because I know her. Servants focus on the needs of others, not the bodies of others. Jesus was around women all of the time, women who adored him, and yet he never lusted once. Regarding my wife, we are talking about a woman who loves the sexual part of our marriage. Sex has been a big part of our marriage but her having lust for other men has not. The ramifications of being a servant are wide and deep. Spiritual greatness and servanthood are inseparably connected and the more you think about it, the more you understand why.